I already mention that earlier, but I still can’t understand why some people have a so strong part of their personality called “Ego” We all have this of course, this small part of defence attitude that comes-out when someone strikes one of our weak-point on purpose. However, and I as said previously having a strong, and therefore Idiot Ego, will result in breaking relationship, friendship relations. People who do have a very developed part of this personality are very easy to spot, you know many of them, they are those who can’t say “sorry” “I am wrong” “sorry for that” “sorry if I hurt you” because they will always find a reason for saying what they previously said. What a curious world, I don’t know if I am in the fringes of society, but when I am wrong, I am saying it and when I involuntarily hurt someone I usually say that I am sorry. I start to believe that most of the people around me takes this as a weak-point “Oh look at that he is sorry, he said he was wrong” probably a point of weakness isn’t it? From my point of view it’s just a proof of honesty and freedom.
I am just getting tired of those people that never hesitate to strike one of your painful point for any meaningless reason, I can’t explain it I just find it very pathetic. I had another example of this lately and once again, it is very easy to push people to show their true nature, usually the result is highly deceiving. Some will say that I just lost another battle because I refused to talk in this last situation but I did not. The only truth here is that I’ve seen the real bottom of some people and I found it sad, pathetic crap, meaningless. This means only one thing: When those people will reach Obstacle in their life with other people around, instead of showing cold blood and *thinking* they will choose the most simple solution, their solution, the one where they will only fight and act for themselves even if those around can suffer from it.
I am what I am, I built myself differently over the last 3 years, it’s true that sometimes I feel sad inside cause obviously I am alone and I can’t share for the moment everything that I could sahre. But i won’t change in order to look like those pathetic people. When I feel something I am saying it whether we are talking about deep feelings, disagreements, pain, love, whatever it is. I will not change this even this cost me in future.
All is said, another chapter is close, I will not look them the same. Those people who can fuck-off everyone reaching the first difficult situation and those people who never hesitate striking where it’s very hurtful instead of *talking*.
Chapter is closed-off, I have regrets, I showed those people what I was inside and now they are using it to strike..poor them. Life goes on, they should remember that you should never do against someone, something you would not accept against yourself. My deep regret is that I gave them the *present* of showing them what I was built off, what I was inside for just nothing. Good point is I won’t hold on that for ever. Actually It will me easier that I firstly thought to go over that and forget them for good.
Me, Myself, and I, Nicolas
September 16th, 2008 | Irish Life | 1 comment